VALUE THOSE VOLUNTEERS


Being mostly lazy, greedy and skint, volunteering is not something I do that often. Volunteering for stuff in Perveworld is a slightly different matter, as "volunteer" usually translates as "free admission" and sometimes even as "free admission, sexual favours and a drink pressed on you by a grateful organiser" though not all of the latter bit happens nearly enough for my taste. Having said that though, the whole of the fetish scene, both political and recreational, runs on willing unpaid labour, so if you're wondering how to raise your profile, acquire new friends (and enemies) and generally Make The World a Better Place, here's how to be a cool volunteer. Firstly, show up when you said you would, and if you are struck down by public transport, erupting haemorrhoids or an unexpected visit from the in-laws, ring the person in charge of volunteers and let them know. As a sort of correlation to that, if you arrive to find that whoever's in charge has pessimistically but pragmatically booked more bodies than are immediately needed, sort yourself out a shift doing whatever needs doing, sod off out of the way and come back when you're supposed to. It's always a good idea to bring something to read if you're likely to get stuck with cloakroom duty on a warm night, and it's also a very good idea to clarify what, if anything you need to bring with you - ie, if DJ-ing, you will need to bring some CDs but it's worth checking whether the venue has a set of decks or whether you're supposed to possess your own.
If you're a person in charge of volunteers, always try to book more than you actually need, but if they all turn up, don't let half fuck off into the night as half of those won't come back when needed. Give the flaky, unreliable ones the first shift of work if they've actually appeared, because if you tell them to pop back later they won't. Explain to volunteers before the event exactly what you want them to do and add in what they'll get out of it, bearing in mind that free entry is not that big a thrill if one has to spend the whole of the event wielding a clipboard or book of cloakroom tickets unless being an officious little twat is actually one's acknowledged fetish. If people are working in shifts, try to check up after each supposed changeover that it's actually occurred, as people on later shifts tend to get tipsy/chatted up/bored or otherwise lose track of time so some poor sod always ends up working a double shift. This always happens to the most sincere and well-meaning person who will then metamorphose into someone who never stops whining about how unappreciated they are all over internet discussion boards.
Frankly, if you can afford to pay people to do stuff, that's often the best possible option.

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